The Coincidence Of Life & Death ~ My Child Is Not A Mistake

We had some great news this past week! My best friend gave birth to a beautiful baby girl!  She did an amazing job carrying and delivering her daughter and if I look half as good as she did the whole time, then I’m in luck! I am so happy and so incredibly proud of her. 

I also want to thank her. She messaged me in the early hours of the morning to tell me that her water had broke and it woke me up. I was in the middle of a great dream and I don’t think I would I have remembered it so vividly if I had slept through it.

Her and I must have been on the same wavelength because I was dreaming that I gave birth to our girl. I was laying in a hospital bed and my grandpa was there with me. He was sitting on the bed holding our daughter. He looked just as he did when I was little. He was more filled out, with a head full of soft white hair. He was dressed very nicely in black slacks and a white button up shirt, and he didn’t need his glasses. 

He was loving on our daughter and kissing her all over her face. There was a huge smile pasted across his face and he was telling her how much he loved her. I saw great happiness in that moment and the most vivid part of the dream was the love that was shared between the two of them. They were best friends, pals.

This dream means so much to me because my grandpa passed away on Father’s Day of last year. There are no words to describe how happy I was to see him that night. I think he visited me to show me how much he loves his great-granddaughter. I have struggled with the fact that they will never meet, but maybe they have already met? 

Maybe he is the one who picked her out for me? He had about five months to get to know her before she was sent down. I think it makes perfect sense. My grandpa wouldn’t have made a rash decision 😉 

I feel now, more than ever, that I was meant to raise this little girl. 

She is mine and I am hers.

Meanwhile, Baby Girl continues to work on her dance moves every day. She is always on the move. 

Kicking, twirling, punching, tapping, whirling.

We recently had a checkup with our regular OB and the doctor had a hard time getting her heartbeat because she wouldn’t stay still! We did get a good listen eventually. Her heartbeat is currently at 140, which is perfect. Everything else is progressing smoothly while we wait for the next appointment.

I’ve gotten lots of people asking if we have picked out a name yet. The answer is:

Not even close

With all of the distractions we’ve had going on, we just haven’t come across a name that 1. we can agree on and 2. is good enough for her. 

Her middle name, however, has always been chosen. Elizabeth is my middle name and I am named after my granny (made famous by the ‘Orchid’ post). Baby Girl will most definitely carry on the tradition and be named after her great-granny.

Choosing a name is real process. Before a baby was even a real thought, I had several names in the back of my mind that I liked, but once we decided to start a family, that list dwindled. When we found out that we were pregnant last winter, the entire list was thrown out. This was real! We were going to have a baby, a tiny human being, and we needed a name that would be good enough for their entire life

We had to start from scratch. Jacob and I both kicked around some names up until we found out that we were having a girl. Once we got that news, all the girl names we had come up with just didn’t seem good enough. Then, of course, we had our abnormal screening and the diagnosis of Down syndrome, so a name was pushed to very bottom of the priority list. It will come in time. Surely we won’t be shouting for “Baby Girl” to come inside for dinner someday. 

Until then, you can call her Baby Lemonade 🙂

 

 

2 thoughts on “The Coincidence Of Life & Death ~ My Child Is Not A Mistake

  1. Hi! I just found your blog. My name is Heidi and I am expecting a little boy with Down Syndrome on July 4. Like you I also just recently began my blog. It’s wonderful to find another blogger with a current prenatal diagnosis

    Like

    1. Hi Heidi! I am glad you reached out! I started reading your blog also and its great to see all the differences and similarities between our two experiences. I look forward to keeping up with you and your son! Congrats & the best of luck to you 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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