Our T21 Anniversary ~ One Year After Receiving Our Pre-Natal Diagnosis For Down Syndrome

{March 1st, 2016} – This date will forever be a turning point in my life. On this date, I heard the words “abnormal test results” for the Trisomy 21 portion of our prenatal screening test. If I had known, I wouldn’t have taken that call in the middle of the work day.

Because Kara is so incredible, it’s easy to say I wish I would have known then what I know now, but it’s not that simple. This was a very hard time for us last year. I needed time to grieve, to learn, to grow. I needed to be there for my husband and know that he was going to be there for me.

Anything after March 1st has become “after we knew.” I look at pictures before that date and think “Those people are so worry-free and uneducated.” I search my own face in photos and see innocence. I want to say, “You just wait…You just wait until the 1st and your world is going to change forever.”

March 1st was the same day we found out we were having a girl.

The calls were divided. I got a call from our physician that afternoon telling me the next step was to meet with a genetic counselor. Shortly after, Jacob got a call with the news of our baby girl. He was to keep the secret and surprise me with our gender reveal that weekend, but you know how plans change…

He did great keeping the secret. When I told him that I needed to hear some good news that afternoon, he shook his head. But then a few minutes later I got a text message. I looked down to see this image illuminated on my screen.

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My eyes filled with tears, “I was right?”

“You were right,” he said.

What a day.  

Six days later we met with a genetic counselor and had an ultrasound performed. Seven days after that I had my amniocentesis.

The day the results came back, a friend had come to drop off a gift for Baby Girl. A tiny little black & white dress with a yellow bow. Jacob had told me the news minutes before. She had no idea that she’d be walking into our living room to see me a sobbing mess. I don’t remember if I could even say the words, she has Down syndrome.

Kara has long grown out of that dress, but I packed it away with extra special care and the flood of emotions that it brought back.

Many of my fears have now diminished.

7307524b-e02b-474b-8cf8-f2cf6d5c3378I was so scared that my daughter wouldn’t be smart, beautiful, or strong. Now I feel silly when I think of those feelings because she is all these things and more! I was terrified that she wouldn’t have friends or supporters, but again, I was proven very wrong. Since that day, we have aimed to be experts on everything Down syndrome. I have gained a lot of knowledge, but nothing could have ever prepared me for the love I feel. She has my whole heart.

Termination was never, ever an option in our minds. I feel lucky that our physician did not lead us in that direction. We made it clear from the beginning that the results of the amnio were to prepare us, not so we could talk about a solution.

March 1st, 2016 – I was sick to my stomach with fear and uncertainty, but the fear is nothing compared to the pride I now have for my little girl. The world is a better place with her in it, just you wait and see.

4 thoughts on “Our T21 Anniversary ~ One Year After Receiving Our Pre-Natal Diagnosis For Down Syndrome

  1. Oh my ❤️……this was me a year ago as well….grieving like you, wondering what next, praying it was a mistake. Oh if I could go back to that woman and whisper it is all going to be okay, better than okay! Keep sharing momma……..

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