So this is happening…my first blog post. I was super nervous about putting this page up because I have never done anything like this before. Writing has always been therapeutic for me and I truly enjoy it. I’m happy to have an outlet to come to. This is also a great way for my friends and family to understand what’s going on with our baby. Hopefully these posts make it far enough into the world to help someone who is going through the same thing.
“I have a good feeling.”
I’m often wrong about this feeling, but it gets me through the tough times. For example, I was convinced that Baby Girl would not have Down syndrome. I just knew it. I could feel it in my bones. It was the same sense I had when I just knew that she was a girl. I look back and think of how silly I am for feeling so positive, so strongly, but this is my defense mechanism. This is how I’m wired, whether it’s good or bad.
Right now, it’s a good thing. I was wrong about her having Down syndrome, but I’m still positive that everything is going to be okay. We’re still having our baby! I know how lucky I am to have her when so many other things can go wrong. Yes, we have a long road ahead of us, but what parents don’t?
I have started to follow several different families on Instagram that share their pictures and stories of their babies with DS. It puts me at ease and I can’t help but fall in love with their precious faces! Every single face I see is different. When researching DS, I consistently come across the fact that a baby with Down syndrome is NOT a “Downs baby.” That is not what defines them. “Duh,” I think, “Of course they are more than Down syndrome.” So why was I so surprised to see all this individualism?! All of these beautiful little people have their own personality, looks, quirks, and abilities. Just like anyone else in the world. Shame on me for subconsciously expecting something different. It seems as if the more my belly grows, the more I gain perspective. Just a few weeks ago, I knew nothing of Down syndrome. Now, here I am, on the road to the REAL DEAL!
This weekend was the first time seeing our families after our news was announced. I was somewhat nervous (though I can’t explain why), but we had a great holiday with our loved ones. It’s getting easier to talk about her condition without getting emotional. I do better when I’m describing exactly what’s going on with her and what we can expect moving forward. I feel honored to spread awareness through our first-hand experience. I know that I am not the only one who was oblivious to this syndrome and I feel obligated, on behalf of my daughter, to help change that.
On top of a great Easter weekend, Baby Girl decided to make her presence known! We safely hit the 18 week mark and she is growing like a weed! Right now, she is the size of a sweet potato, but I feel like I have a good sized balloon hiding under my shirt. I haven’t been able to feel her move yet, but that will come soon enough. I can’t wait until we see her again next week! One upside to all of this is that we’ll have frequent checkups and this will be the second time in three weeks that we get to see her 🙂 #whenlifehandsyoulemons