How I Rebooted My Tired Mama Heart

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Lately I’ve been feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders. I’ve been feeling very physically and emotionally defeated and there isn’t just one thing I can blame…. Selling our first home and buying a second, 1st birthday party planning, suffering from god awful allergies, weaning off of my breast pump. Not to mention that I’m always aware of my history of anxiety and postpartum depression. Throw a teething baby into the mix? Mama wanted to run for the hills.

So I did.

I left the baby with Jacob, got in the car and drove an hour away. I made the most of my drive. I blasted my music and didn’t care that the wind was whipping my hair into knots.

It felt so nice to be carefree.

I arrived at the spa {The Grotto} and tried everything there was: sauna, hot tub, steam shower, body scrubs & cold plunge. I lounged in the comfy spa chairs with the lights dimmed and a peppermint towel on the back of my neck. I was expecting to feel relaxed and drowsy, but I felt the opposite. I was so alive! So awake! I peeked at the clock – I had been gone two & a half hours. I couldn’t stop smiling. My little trip had only begun.

It felt so nice to be alone.

After the spa, I retired the warm, bulky robe and ran a comb through my wet hair. As I left, I browsed the shelves in the adjacent gift shop. Upon reaching the front doors, a young employee approached me. She said, “I just have to tell you, you have the longest, darkest hair. It is so pretty!” I thought, WHAT?! but responded with a genuine thank you.

It was so nice to feel pretty.

Afterwards, I grabbed some lunch at the hotel’s bar. I sipped on a pineapple mimosa as I chatted with the bartender. She nicknamed me Little Mama and brought my food out to me. Once my plate was empty, I heard her talking to someone at the end of the bar. “How was everything? Can I bring you anything else?” Then she got closer, “I’m talking to you, Little Mama. This is your time away and, believe it or not, I’m here to take of YOU.”

It was so nice to have someone wait on me.

That afternoon, as I laid poolside and read my book, I got a taste for caffeine. I looked at my watch – 3:00 p.m. I gathered my things, hopped in the car and found a local mercantile down the street. I sat in their cool underground dining area and ordered a cup of hot coffee. I enjoyed the scent & taste of hazelnut while I continued reading my book. At home, I would never drink coffee past breakfast because it would keep me up all night, but right then it didn’t matter. That hazelnut coffee was heavenly in more ways than one.

It felt so nice to be on my own time.

That evening I went to a nice restaurant for dinner and did something that I’ve never done before – I got a table for one. I took my sweet time choosing an entrée (I am very indecisive). I also tend to look at the price first and the description second. This time, I sat down and decided that since this was MY night, I would choose whatever sounded the best, whether it was greasy, pricey, or both. So when the words “Salmon Stuffed Avocado” caught my eye, I flagged down my server. After dinner, I asked for the dessert menu and treated myself to some decadent Crème Brulee. Check, please!

It was so nice to splurge on myself.

The hotel I stayed at is known for being haunted so it’s totally up my alley, despite the fact that I’m the jumpiest person you’ll ever meet. I couldn’t resist signing up for the late night ghost tour. The hour long tour was nothing but creepy ghost stories as we got a tour and history lesson on the hotel. As I tucked myself in bed late that night, I had to admit that I was terrified and that I might have made a mistake by staying in a haunted hotel all by myself. Nevertheless, I curled up under the covers and slept soundly all night long without any ghostly encounters.

It felt so nice to recognize my independence.

I wish I could say that this night away was the magic ticket and I came back ready to jump back into my loving, busy, motherly & wifely routine, but I wasn’t. I was very surprised at how easy it was to spend my first night away from Kara. To me, that just shows how overdue this little getaway was. I used it as a step in self-growth.

Mothers always hear the phrase “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” I learned that this is true, only it took me almost a whole year to find out the hard way. I was at the bottom of a very dry cup.

I’ve been on a journey to discover balance in my life. To learn to juggle my roles a little better – mother, wife, sister, daughter, friend, person. To let go of the little stressors and hold on to the happy moments. I am a work in-progress, as we all are, but I take pride in the fact that I always end up back above water.

So get away. Be alone. Blast your music. Test yourself. Treat yourself. Stand tall because this job is not for the faint of heart.

  ^^This book is a riot: Confessions of a Domestic Failure – You can find it HERE or HERE.


3 thoughts on “How I Rebooted My Tired Mama Heart

  1. I’ve been wanting to take a little vacation forever but have been waiting for other friends’ schedules to open up. I never thought of doing this by myself, but why not?! I love this and am seriously going to consider, except the haunted hotel part.


    1. Haha! I picked a haunted one because its something my husband would never do! I figured if I was going to do it, that was the time! I encourage you to take the alone time – it was so freeing and so healing 🙂


  2. This sounds amazing! I recently went on a trip with some girlfriends and felt the same way. Love what you said about not being able to pour from an empty cup. Self care is so important and yet so hard to find time for! But it makes a huge difference. It’s so nice to recharge and then have more energy for taking care of the littles!


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