The Secret Of Mom Code & Living My Mantra “It Is What It Is”

Lately, I have been learning the ways of  the “Mom Code”. Being pregnant has been great, but it has also been hard and very confusing. I am extremely lucky to have a stellar husband by my side (I can’t say it enough), but there is no way for him to fully understand what I’m going through. Enter the moms! I have felt an incredible sense of camaraderie while entering motherhood. These women are my go-to gals when I’m experiencing something out of the norm. They have come to my rescue with everything from needing a big hug to needing bigger pants. I literally do not know what I would do without them! I don’t even want to think about it…

I have received so much support that it makes me excited to pass it along. I have been given maternity clothes, baby books, and much needed spa essentials. I have gotten advice, understanding, and reassurance on the daily. I’ve even started stocking up on clothes, accessories, and gear for Baby Girl! Someday I’ll be able to pass these things along to help out another new mom. That’s the “code” 😉 It makes this whole thing a hell of a lot easier.

Shout out to these amazing ladies. Because of you, I feel like I’m constantly being watched out for. Except it’s not a guardian angel, it’s the best friends that a girl could ask for ❤

The encouragement that we’ve received is truly overwhelming. Sometimes I think that I don’t deserve the kind words that are said to me. I am just trying to get through each day with my head still screwed on straight! I recently had a good friend comment on our situation. She said that she knows I’ll do great because I am such a patient person.

“Wait, what?!”

I am the kind of person that gets upset when it takes 10 minutes to cook a meal. I am the girl who skips to the last page when I’m engrossed in a book. I throw a borderline temper-tantrum if I get stuck at a red light. If something isn’t happening, I make it happen. Patient? Not me.

Then I took a step back. I started to notice how I have been handling things lately. I have no choice but to be patient when it comes to our baby. Our test results come in whenever they come in. We will get in to see our doctor whenever she has an opening. I will feel Baby Girl move when she feels like kicking. And the ultimate test: waiting until August to meet her! My patience is showing in other aspects of my life as well, not just my pregnancy. Our pups push me to my limits every single day,  but I find ways to deflect my frustration (especially with Pete, since he’s still a puppy). Jacob has a work schedule that changes frequently and there are weeks where I barely see him, but we still make it work. Maybe this friend sees something in me that I don’t? I’ve been thinking about it more and I think (and hope) that she’s right. If not, parenthood will certainly change me for the better.

Our Rascals: Pete (left) & Buckaroo (right)
I have learned to use the mantra “it is what it is”. It helps me slow down and try to be more patient with stressful situations. Patience truly is a virtue.

Out of the many stressful situations, I tend to worry about the future the most. I just finished a chapter on the legalities involved with raising a child with DS. It made my heart race. For example, once she’s an adult, our daughter will not be able to take advantage of the many helpful government programs if she owns too many assets. We will have to keep this in mind when we write our wills. There are ways to ensure/establish her future without us around, but it’s more complicated than the already complicated process that I was expecting. My child isn’t even born and I’m worried about her finances, but “it is what it is”. It is something that we’ll have to deal with and that’s that. Then I take a deep breath and remember the tiny miracle that I’ve been given.

It is what it is. Baby Girl has Down syndrome. There is nothing left for me to do except to educate myself and continue to love her. When something is out of my control, I realize that there is no use in fighting it.This mantra has helped me throughout life, but especially during pregnancy. I continuously count my blessings!

In the meantime, Baby Girl really likes to get her kicks in. She is constantly moving and drumming on my belly. Jacob has been able to feel her a couple of times now. I’ll never forget the look on his face when he felt that first kick. I know he reads this so to avoid embarrassing him, I won’t get too sappy, but I love seeing him become so involved with her. He is already the best dad and I cannot wait to see him turn to mush when holding his daughter for the first time. We are lucky girls!


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