Finding Myself After Motherhood

When I set my mind to something, there isn’t much that will stand in my way. I am very Type-A so when I say I’m going to do something, I can’t help but follow through. It’s almost annoying.

I am a goal setter, rule follower, checklist maker.

If you’ll recall, six months ago I made myself some promises. I’m not saying that it’s been easy, but I do feel like I’ve done a pretty good job of staying on track with these goals. Read further for my six month update.

Resolution #1: Reconnect to Reality Before Kara, I was in everyone’s business (in a good way). I knew my friends’ birthdays off the top of my head. I knew what trips their parents were taking. I knew when a family member was going to the doctor. I knew when & where someone was moving and was even able to help!

Having a baby changed all of that. My priorities are drastically different so this promise focused on finding a balance that I was happy with. I am still a work in progress and I am nowhere near perfect. Kara still rules my world and that isn’t going to change, but I feel like I have a better ability to tear my eyes away from her to see what’s going on around me. My friends & family have been just busy as we have. It’s nice to make those connections again.

Resolution #2: Rediscover Myself Being a mom to Kara means that my morning starts with milk and working from home // transitions into an afternoon of wooden blocks, singing, and napping // is followed by an evening of baths with rubber ducks and bubbles // and ends with zipper onesies, rocking chairs, snuggles and board books.

I love every bit, but I was really starting to miss my pre-mom self. I was missing the girl that had a list of hobbies and interests that had nothing to do with the above. I promised myself that I would rediscover my passions. Do I still like running and listening to music? Sipping a cold one on the back porch with friends? Scrapbooking? Reading?

This goal has been the most fun to reach for. Since making this resolution, I have:

  • Finished one book each month… I’m talking adult books with paper pages, zero illustrations, and complex story lines.
  • Written in my bullet journal every single day.
  • Entered a contest at the gym and placed 14th out of 109 members!
  • Hosted dinner parties and discovered some yummy new drinks.
  • Refinished not one, not two, but THREE pieces of furniture. 
  • Explored nearby areas and events while enjoying the sunshine!

Rediscovering myself makes me feel good inside and out. It turns out, pre-mom me is still there! She’s a little different than she used to be. She can’t drink as much and needs to be in bed by 10:30pm, but loves life just as much.

Resolution #3: Be Present – This has proved to be the hardest resolution for me. As I mentioned above, I am a very Type-A person. I can’t even sleep right if there are dirty dishes in the sink.

One of the ways I’ve slowed down my racing mind is by incorporating “book sharing” instead of “book reading”. When I read a book to Kara, I was reading each word in an expressive voice and letting her turn the pages until we got to the end. When the bedtime story was done, it was time to shut off the lights and get in bed. I found myself looking at the clock thinking “I have 5 minutes to read her this so she’ll get in bed on time.” It was a task that I needed to complete.

Book sharing is different. Instead of reading the words in the story, we talk and ask questions about the pictures. I let her have freedom to follow what interests her. Sometimes we go from the end to the beginning. Sometimes we’re stuck on the same page because she’s busy gnawing on the corner. She still concentrates on the book, learns new words, and learn how to use books. Book sharing is about slowing things down and allowing her to have fun. It forces me to watch her and follow her lead.

After book sharing, we chat about the day and what our plans are for tomorrow. I snuggle her close and soak in these moments even though it’s 10 minutes past her bedtime. I remind myself it’s okay that the floors are coated in dog prints and apple juice. It’s okay if I get a little less sleep. My baby is almost 11 months old already. Time is flying. I remind myself to make the most of each second because they are flashing by.

I didn’t set these goals as part of the New Year’s buzz. I set them because the new year gave me an opportunity to start again and make some changes as I build from the ground up. I plan to continue striving for progress & positivity.

A positive mind + positive vibes = a positive life. ✌🏻☀️💛

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