You may find that since you became a mother, putting yourself first has fallen to the very bottom of the list. As a special needs parent, it is easy to get lost in the needs of your child. I’ve been there & I remember exactly what that feels like. There is so much to learn & do that you can easily slip into a routine where your personal needs are completely forgotten. I implore you to take a couple minutes and reflect on self care as a special needs mom.
I know you’ve heard it before…
You can’t pour from an empty cup
I know that you understand the truth in this statement too. The hard part is following through & following up with yourself. This is no one’s responsibility but your own. I desperately needed self care as a new special needs mom and I remember those around me reminding me to take a break, but it was more like an annoying buzz in my ear. They were just repeating the same things over & over again. It wasn’t until I hit rock bottom that I realized the importance of the words ‘Self Care’.
Self care is NOT a luxury or a treat. It is a necessity. A human need.
So here are some useful tips on how to look after your own mental, physical and emotional wellbeing alongside being the super special needs mom that you are! When you are feeling your happiest & healthiest, it will directly reflect in your children.
Build Your Support System
In today’s society there seems to be an expectation that you have to succeed on your own. This could NOT be farther from the truth. Ever heard the expression ‘it takes a village to raise a child?’ This is what you need to be focusing on.
You will find that after you’ve had a baby with special needs, people will offer help and support, but a lot of times, they won’t know HOW to help.
First, remember that any child who is differently abled needs to be treated like any other baby. They need love, nourishment and naps. When Kara was born with Down syndrome, she had trouble feeding because of low muscle tone. We had to help her a bit by turning her on her side & giving her breast milk through a bottle held sideways. Give a quick training to those offering to help. The more they help, the more comfortable they are going to feel (and you too).
Taking care of baby isn’t the only way for someone to step in. Let your neighbor take your trash can out when they take theirs, let your mother-in-law bring you dinner. These little gestures will ease the pressure immensely. Besides, if they are offering to help, they love you & will like the feeling of being needed.
Soon enough, you’ll build your circle wide enough that you’ll be able to step away and refuel.
Find A Space For You
You’ve made a sanctuary for your latest addition. You’ve transformed your house into a welcoming home. So now, you need to separate a little part of that into a place for you. A place that allows you to sit, breath and not be ‘mom’. Make this somewhere special. You might find being near a window helps, or having plants around to aids your relaxation. Store your airpods & a water bottle nearby. Keep your yoga mat within arms reach. Whatever you need to decompress for even a couple of minutes at a time.
Make Time For You Within Each Day
It is important that along with nurturing your small humans that within each day you are doing the same thing for yourself. There is a lot that you can do to boost your self care as a special needs mom. Just a few minutes here and there to focus on yourself can make all the difference. This could be taking a couple moments to buy sarms, focus on your skincare routine, or it could mean applying a little mascara for the day.
Along with these small actions, try to seize any longer window of opportunity whenever possible. Nothing beats being able to relax and take yourself off for a good bath, 30 minutes of undisturbed reading time, or a nice long nap. It easy to worry about housework, call the insurance, scheduling appointments or exercising, but make sure to evaluate your physical & mental well-being before making that decision. Self care as a special needs mom should be your top priority when those long windows pop up!
Get Fresh Air
When everything is becoming a little much, get outside. It is easy to get caught up within the confines of your home after having a baby that you forget the world is still going on outside of those four walls.
Grab a drive-through coffee, take your baby for a walk, snuggle on the front porch or just open a window. You will thank me later.
Look After Your Physical Needs
Whether you need to set reminders or plan this into your daily routine, it is so important that you are focused on your physical health. Especially, if you’ve recently had a baby as your body is still going through so many changes.
Take it back to the basics. Make sure you are staying fed and hydrated. Sleepless nights, doctor’s follow ups, therapy appointments and various insurance calls will take up all the time that you’re not focusing on your new baby. These things make it easy to lose track of time and you might find yourself skipping meals. Especially if you’ve chosen to breastfeed, you have to view your own nourishment as a top priority. Set bottles of water around the house & carry one wherever you go. Fill your purse, diaper bag and car tote with non-perishable snacks. You want to be able to fuel your body no matter what you’re busy doing.
Exercise
If you can build this into your routine, it will make you feel alive! Exercising can give your energy levels a natural boost. Just moving & getting your heart rate up will release endorphins into your body. These will instantly lift your mood and support your emotional wellbeing. I know that its daunting to begin as a new special needs mom, but be creative. Exercising doesn’t have to take an hour on the mat or in the gym. However you do it, remember to take it slowly. Your body has been through a lot, LISTEN to it and take your time.
Ditch the Mom Guilt
Finally, ditch the mom guilt. For me this was (is) the hardest part of being a new special needs mom. You just brought a life into the world. You are a badass. Your baby is doing amazing and so are you! There will be days where you feel you can conquer the world and other days when getting out of your pajamas is a battle. It is all a balance. Remember that both are okay, as long as you and your little one are happy and healthy.
